Basically, things had been a hard time for me these days. I know, You will always keep track of my blog post and I really hope you would eventually read it. I kept silence & have not been communicating with it but I'll always find a way to talk to you.

I know you're deliberately hurt deep down & you just can't help it but what ever it may takes, You just got to be strong cause I'm always here for you. I'm your pillar even though Mama won't be yours.

Cause, I know She's a little bit insecure. 

I know that whenever you're distance away from Mama, You wish that she's gonna have the trust on you but when She's away from you, All you ever wanted was loyalty. I might be at the age of eighteen but that doesn't mean that I'm in-mature. Of course, I am :) 

All I ever wanted you to be is to be strong to face all these obstacles. I love you, & I'm sure you know :)

Cheer up papa, I will always try to make things out work for you and mama. 

Time check in : 728 am. I was supposed to tuck myself in bed a few minutes ago yet, I'm still here updating my blog cause I ain't wishing to make it dusty even more :/ Basically, these days, I'm not really am busy like the first few weeks I did cause I'm more to HOME. I don't believe that each day went by, I've been rotting much at home & been like a housewife who will take good care of the house as well as to cook for dinner.

As for today, I had a great time with Love. We both eventually spent our time together with his work mates like usual however He did spent the time with me before we head to his work place to meet up with the rest.

Today, Our plan was to go to Bazaar but ended up we had it a last minute cancel so we head down to Marina Bay and had a few photo taking there:) 

After which, We eventually planned to have our pre-dawn outside together last night and we did. We head down to Bencoolen and I ate to much :( I'm full and bloated. Haha, * 

I'm making it short and simple for this post actually, after all of us headed back home separately cause it's 514am and Now, I'm home sweet home.

Love will be snoring like how he did a few hours when he got a short nap at my crib. Haha, * Guess, He's to tired. I wish that we just got the time for each other and communicate more instead of we both kept silence and don't really know what's each other expectation is. 

However, That doesn't matter this hour cause what matters now is I should be in bed right now. My eyes can't help it and I just got to take a good rest xD 

Nights, sweet dreams. 

Take care.

Now, time check in : 340am. Just got back home a few minutes ago. Love off to bed already as he had his Deng'deng & Sotong a few minutes ago the moment he reached home after sending me home. These days, I'm a little bit insecure because of the surroundings which I knew had been having accident. Hopefully, Love would ride safely each time he's out with/without my presence. 

Currently, I'm listening to The best you never had, I addicted to that song & puffing ~ Yknow, I shouldn't have puff much as I've plan to quit smoking real soon. Put it this way, After raya I'll not be smoking any more. 

& Let's take about today, The moment I woke up from bed, I realised that I'm alone. Every one out to work & I'm rotting at home doing nothing much. I checked my phone & received a text message from Love & I invited him to break fast today at my crib with my family. 

Wasn't sure if Papa would allow but I spoke to Mama& She's fine with it. I thought, He's not coming down yet, It's almost the time to break fast & there he is, with him wearing the helmet on his head & talk to me on the phone :/ I was sitting outside & heard his motor bike so I take a peep and He lied that He's breaking fast at home instead of coming over --' BATAL ! Hee, * 

After breaking fast, Love had his chocolate chips, Snickers & We check notifications & one of his friend met with an accident so we planned to make a visit & a few minutes later, We received phone call from Kai Ray Toro & I told him to give me half-an - hour and we'll be meeting him at Love's work place. 

The moment we reached there, The plan had been changed. So, We headed down to Bukit Panjang instead of KTPH. After that, We had some conversations while waiting for his friend to reach home from hospital.

As usual, talking about the incident happen and we don't really stay much longer and we head back to Love's work place. 

Bumped into Ijal's wife & had some chit chatting and they planned to head down to TeaTarik. So, I followed Love. Ate Sotong been fed by me & head back home at around 245am. 

& Tomorrow, I'll be accompanying Love's to KTPH for his check up. Aww, He's leaving me real soon to serve his NS. Don't worry, I'll be waiting love<3

Love off to bed & I should be sleeping too. My eyes can't help it any longer. Good night, Take care Sweet love. 

Eventually, He made my day today. I was laugh-ing since 345am till now when I chatted with him. Haha, * 

Basically, I've ate Kway Teow Goreng a few hours ago & that's for my sahur. 

I drank to much water instead of eating cause I'm having the fear that I'm gonna be thirsty later on :/

What ever it is, I'll be doing alright, Insyallah, Amin *

& I've been having difficulties these days cause I've not been smoking much :/

which maybe affected me actually cause I don't get used to it.

However, I'll still be strong to face it.

Cause, I really have to save money instead of buying ciggs :/

I've heard about Tembok in hospital & I really pity him. 

Thought of visiting him real soon, Insyallah. 

Shall see how it goes.

Hopefully, He would be holding on. 

Be strong alright ?

Okay, for now I got nothing much to update.

Will update soon, 

Take care sweet love.

Cause I did fast for the whole day together although I'm superb down with fever& my throat hurts a lot. 

Time check in : 1030pm and I'm done doing every thing, Will be having my shower in a short while. I'm waiting for my hair to grow longer each day. What I've heard is having 1 inch longer each day when ever I wash my hair yet I see it still the same. Please, Oh please. :( At least, give me a chance to have a shoulder length level for my hair before Hari Raya. 

& For today, I've been rotting at home. Ain't meeting Faizal cause He's tired. 

I pity him but I do understand. It's alright:) Shall see about tomorrow.

Just ended watching Embun Mutiara at Suria while Faizal sat at home watching Doomsday:) 

& I hope he would be taking a good rest at home. 

I asked Mama when we'll be starting to do the cookies  and She said, the day after tomorrow. I'll be ready to help her:) cause, I know I'll get my pay too. 

I really am missing Ayah :(

I can't deny, Each year of Raya we had never been meeting up with each other, Hope fully this year, I got to celebrate Raya with him, Shall see how it goes.

As for today, My menu at home for breaking fast is : Kway Teow Goreng & once again, getting a good feed backs from Mama& Papa. It's NICE & they said this one word " POWER " & I'm proud of myself that I can make it once again, Alhamdulillah. 

Nice? Haha, * I cook a lot today thought that Faizal will be coming here to take it but It's alright :)

Some of it, I kept in the refrigerator for tomorrow Sahur xD 

Each day, I feel that I've made a good job for myself. 

Alhamdulillah. It's for my own benefits. 

I have to learn for my future. 

I don't want to be categories like others. 

& It's not that I'm looking down on others, It's just that I don't want to be label.

Some conversations been made between me& Papa while I'm cutting the vegetables. 

He told me that, He's proud of me & He told me what every man expect from their future wife. 

As long as, I know how to cook, That's the best thing ever for every man cause they know, they are well taken good care of. 

Insyallah, I'll make my future husband happy each days in his life :) 

INSYALLAH; Amin * 

& I've been fasting two days straight and I'm happy. 

Alhamdulillah. 

Looking forward for the next day :)

Okay, I will end my blog post here .

Got nothing much to update, 

Take care Sweet loves.

Thanks for taking a few minutes of your time reading my blog post, dearest readers.

I'll update soon& Not to let it go dusty once again :)

p.s : I'll do my best to make my surroundings happy~ 

Smile always. 

# i always want the best for everyone. 

& Once again another post will be updated in just a few minutes time :)

I went through a lot of obstacles these days yet, I know I got to be strong to face it although I admit, I'm dropping to the ground. I shed tears most of the time cause I seriously can't help it any more. 

I wonder why must it happen after so long? I wonder why must I go through this too. 

I should have prepare mentally& physically. I just hope that every thing ends real soon.

Let's talk about today. It's the first day of FASTING MONTH and I can't believe it that I'm cooking for the rest of my family members for breaking fast cause most of the time, I don't have the confidence in cooking on FASTING MONTH afraid that It won't turn out nice but I just put my best shot and DO IT cause I know, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. If others can DO IT, Why I can't. Am I right? (:

After all, I thanked Allah that the AYAM MASAK MERAH turns out delicious although I didn't taste it while cooking to know whether I put enough ingredients. Hee. (:

I was looking at Mama& Papa eventually It will turn out nice & they said, Yes. So, I was a little bit released. 

And, I quickly finished eating and Had my shower and of course I'm off to meet Faizal at his work place. 

Pack some for him & He's eating right now alone at home :) 

Hopefully, He would like it cause I pack it a few hours ago & now, He just got back and started to eat. Hee. 

Shall see what he's gonna say about it :/

& While at his work place, I sat while waiting for him to end his closing. I wanted to break fast with him real soon, Just like a candle light dinner. Chey, What I mean is JUST ME & HIM :)

Yknow, Yknow ! It seems hard cause He's a bit busy with work and I got to understand that.

For me, I've to search for a job nearby. I really can't help it any more being JOBLESS. :/

Unless, If I'm married & I swear, I choose to stay home become HOUSEWIFE instead of going out to work. 

Hmms~ Basically, there's a lot of things that I've to think. It's all about long term. My future. 

I really need to think about it cause I don't want things to turn out misery for me in 5 years time down the road. No, No. :(

For now, I know some red eyes on us & trying to get close to us each day, COME ON, How long can you play along this game with me? Cause I ain't easily been defeated when It comes to this but I also need Faizal to play along with this. I can't play this game alone. :/ Seriously, I can't do it all on my own.

& You people, Stop pretending la, It's the best way. Why should you pretend ? You're just wasting your precious time over this. Seriously, Just take a step back. 

No point cause the more you're trying to bring me down, I feel as though you're motivating me to be much more stronger.

& For now, I got nothing much to update. I guess, this post is to long. :/ seriously. 

I've to end it here. 

Will be updating real soon  :) 

Take care sweet loves.

Thanks for a reading :)

& I really appreciate it much.